hands off, frenchy.

a couple of weeks ago i went out to bar review with a few 1Ls. we went to a couple of different places - no big deal. what's interesting is what happened to the fella that i never saw that night. a friend of ours was supposed to meet us at bar review, but we wound up going to a different bar. again, no big deal, he was drinking with another group of folks at the dorm and said he'd meet up with us later. we stayed out until closing but we never heard from him.

i saw him after class the next day and i'm like "dude?". he says to me "i got robbed last night." turns out that the guy got hammered at the dorm and headed off to bar review. he had some more drinks a bar review and then decided to leave ... alone. remember that the last time something bad happened to one of my friends it was because he also left his group - this is the moral of the story: never leave your group to go walking alone in DC, drunk, at night.

he was stumbling home and stopped to talk to some guys sitting on some steps on the corner of 19th and M; keep in mind that he did not know these guys. he talked to them for about an until one of the guys left. then he stuck around and talked to the other guy for a half-hour or so. when he got up to leave and shake the guy's hand the guy grabbed my friend's hand stuck his other hand in my friend's pocket, took his money and started running. my friend chased him screaming "dude, what the fuck? I sat there and talked to you for like an hour .. i thought we were cool." to which the thief responded "wtf? you just wasted over an hour of my time...i didn't want to talk to your ass anyway." the guy got away and my friend made it home safe.

last night my same friend got ripped off again - this time by a drunk french girl. we were leaving a bar in Adams Morgan last night after last call. we went into Jumbo Slice for some pizza before heading home. Jumbo Slice sells the BIGGEST slice of pizza you'll ever see and they have no tables, so you walk up to the counter order your food and eat it on the sidewalk. well we were on the sidewalk, pizza in hand, and this drunk french couple, probably exchange students, walk by. the girl sees our pizza and reaches over and grabs my friend's slice and rips it in 2. she drunkenly devoured "her" half in like 1 bite leaving my friend standing there laughing his ass off thinking "wtf?". that's when i had to open my mouth "this is why we don't like the french." to which pierre (not sure if that was his name, but whatever) responded "what do you mean you do not like ze french?". "americans don't like the french, man" i said. "why not?" he inquired. "we just don't" i replied. i could tell frenchy was pretty pissed at this point so i decided to throw him a bone: "sarkozy is ok, i guess". "sarkozy is the fucking man" he said. i could tell that i diffused the situation so we went to another friend's apartment and smoked cigars and drank on the roof until everyone got tired and we all went home.