not keeping up...

i haven't been keeping with the blog. i'm really focused on school and my professional writing right now. i've got some creative energy that i'm channeling to fuel me through this semester, so i guess we'll call that a positive. with that said, i really wanna eliminate all distractions and nail this shit, so the minimalist hobo is on hiatus.

take care everyone. see ya on the other side ...

i got the first day blues (aka epic fail day)

first day of class. i have early morning class 3x per week. bullshit. classes themselves weren't too bad except that they completely consumed my mind today and i totally forgot to do something that i promised someone i would do, and she got in trouble b/c of it; now i feel like a huge piece of shit...sorry Elissa...

time to send out some emails to people that i'm trying get summer internships with. back to the grind.

good to know some things don't change

no matter how old you are, you will still get nervous when you call a girl you really like...just saying.

a holiday treat

for my vast reader audience; i to present you this holiday season the reason i can't sleep. without further ado, here it is, Title 28 of the United States Code section 1367(b):

In any civil action of which the district courts have original jurisdiction founded solely on section 1332 of this title, the district courts shall not have supplemental jurisdiction under subsection (a) over claims by plaintiffs against persons made parties under Rule 14, 19, 20, or 24 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, or over claims by persons proposed to be joined as plaintiffs under Rule 19 of such rules, or seeking to intervene as plaintiffs under Rule 24 of such rules, when exercising supplemental jurisdiction over such claims would be inconsistent with the jurisdictional requirements of section 1332.

i concur

Justice Heydenfelt of the California Supreme Court addressing the Defendant's negligence in failing to cover a hole in the sidewalk into which an intoxicated man fell and became injured in 1855:

A drunken man is as much entitled to a safe street as a sober one, and much more in need of it.

Robinson v. Pioche, Bayerque & Co., 5 Cal. 460 (1855).

hearing voices

my never ending quest to please the tech poet's delicate musical sensibilities trudges slowly forward. so far he has introduced me to spoon and the pains of being pure at heart, and everything that i try to offer in return he deems as crap (this is why i broke his rib). last month i tried to get him to listen to the gaslight anthem, but that was a no go. here is my latest attempt - the best song i've heard this month; Quiet Little Voices by We Were Promised Jetpacks:

president much?

some random sightings in D.C. the first family attended a GW basketball game earlier today in the building across the street from my apartment, so i decided to go outside and snap a few pics as they were leaving. sorry about the poor resolution, but i was trying to zoom out and just couldn't do it fast enough. that is indeed the president in the back of the limo waving:

and here are the first daughters just a few minutes before the president's limo pulled away:

how can i not love this?

emails from an asshole is great; this guy responds to classified ads just to fuck with people. while i'm sure immanuel kant would have strong objections, i think it's hilarious:

Old/used soccer equipment wanted for my kid. Will drive to pick up anywhere near Malvern. No calls, email only: ************@verizon.net

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Hello,

I have a bunch of old soccer equipment that would be perfect for your daughter. I have soccer balls, nets, cleats, etc. Let me know specifically what you need and we can talk prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Actually the stuff is for my son because I want to get him started in soccer. I'm in need of a practice net, soccer ball and kids size 6 cleats if you have them. Thanks.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

My mistake, I assumed it was for your daughter because it is soccer. If that is the way you want to raise your son, I have some other items you may want to buy for him. I have a pink twirling baton with silver ribbons, and a cheerleader set consisting of two pom-poms, pink cheerleader bloomers, and a toy megaphone.

I'm charging $100 for the practice net, $20 for the ball, $25 for the baton, and $30 for the cheerleader set. I don't have kids size 6 cleats, but you don't really need cleats for soccer anyway. Your son could probably just use his bunny slippers.

Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Well I'm definitely interested in kicking your fucking ass. One question, asshole: if you think soccer is so gay, why do you have soccer equipment, and a cheerleader set and baton?

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Please, you aren't kicking anyone's ass. The fact that you are getting your son started in soccer instead of football says a lot about you as a man.

To answer your question, I have the baton and cheerleader set as trophies. When I was a kid, I used to go around the neighborhood and beat up all the other kids who played soccer and steal their stuff. I acquired the cheerleader set and baton from this one kid in the neighborhood, Caleb. I always knew that kid wasn't right - he used to ride around on a pink bike and always wanted to have tea parties with the other kids. I tried to help him by beating him up and stealing his baton, but I don't think it worked. I saw him in Philly a few years ago, blowing some guy in an alley. Anyway, I kept my gatherings in my shed out back as a testament to my manliness, but I need to make room for my new shotgun and power saw.

So do you want the stuff or not? I also have Brokeback Mountain on DVD. I ordered Die Hard, but that was sent to me in error. It sounds like a movie that you and your son would enjoy watching.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

You must be so proud of what a big man you are with your shotgun and power saw.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

You're goddamn right I am. It's just part of being a man, which you apparently know nothing about. Tell you what - forget the baton and cheerleader set. I want to help you. I'll sell you my shotgun for $1,700. It is a 10-gauge Remington that'll put some hair on your chest. Take your son hunting with it. There is nothing more manly than blowing a deer's head off and eating the raw venison from its neck.

Then, after you are done manning up, you can come back and I'll sell you some football equipment for your son. I'd hate to see him blowing Caleb in an alley in Philly some day.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

How about you take your shotgun and stick it up your ass and pull the trigger? Go fuck yourself.

gobble, gobble = pie * stuffing/ mashed 'taters(brussel sprouts + gravy)

thanksgiving eve: trying to figure out that title is like trying to figure out LE theories (law and economics) - on the one hand, i can group all positive and normative theories with their kinds. on the other hand, i can't figure out what the end points on a spectrum should be...this should be kind of fun to unravel...i'll keep you posted

nathan scott phillips

it's been said that every law student will have one of five experiences in the first year:

1. You will gain 20 lbs.
2. You will lose 20 lbs.
3. You will become a raging alcholic
4. You will develop a drug habit
5. You will enter into an ill advised romantic relationship with another 1L

as it is, i don't have enough money for the fourth option and i don't have enough time for the fifth option so that just leaves options 1 & 2 while i teeter precariously on the edge of option three (just a joke folks, i'm way over the edge on option 3). So what obligatory 1L experience am i currently facing right now? that's right option 1 ... boo. while not a full 20 lbs, i have put on 6 or 7 pounds in the last couple of months and i'm starting to look like nathan scott phillips (not the actor).

the reason for this is three-fold. first, finding free pizza at law school is like finding a virgin at a star trek convention - that shit's everywhere! go to a lecture = pizza. club meeting? pizza. just sitting around in the student lounge? hey, have some pizza! Also, there's the fast food, because, of course we have little time to cook, or are simply too tired to cook when we get home. hehe...on a side note; i walked up to the mcdonalds counter last night/this morning and ordered by saying "i can has cheeseburger?" nom nom nom...

second, sitting in a chair for extended periods of time with the only exercise being done by the wrist as you furiously hight-light and turn pages with the right hand, while looking up cases on westlaw with the left hand.

third, the booze. it's true, booze is very fattening - and we consume a lot of it. it's like undergrad, only we drink better stuff (i see undergrads carrying cases of busch light and natty light and i'm like "bleghh, gross").

ok, so here's my threefold plan to fight this son of a bitch: 1. stop eating the crap and get back to eating lean, fresh natural foods. i've already started this by stocking up on goodies from trader joes. 2. get 3 hours of exercise a week + 3 hours/ week on my bike. right now i'm lucky if i get an hour per week on my bike. from now on i'm going for a long bike ride every weekend and hitting the gym 3 days a week. 3. only go out once a week. this too has also been under way for the past two weeks and i gotta say my mind is clearer, i have more energy and i'm much more relaxed...

so there you have it.

one last thing: on the way home this morning i stopped to watch 2 rats fighting in a flower bed...it was the coolest thing i've seen in a while. gotta love D.C.

the end is near

good week so far. products liability in torts, insanity defenses in crim, joinder of parties in civ pro, contracts? contracts is always rockin'. the best part of the week? no fucking LRW.

this weekend is going to be even better. outlines = goodtimes...

time to get crankin' on the ol' resume. it needs a little polish before i can start sending it out to law firms for a 2011 summer associateship.

on an unrelated note: turns out the dude was wrong. the eagles DO NOT suck...new kid in town? wasted time? and, of course, the obligatory hotel california...follow my logic here. if the eagles don't suck, that means, by extension, don henley does not suck. here's one of my fave dh songs (pay no attention to dh's douchy hair-do and douchy bono glasses.

ahhhhh (yea, this is gonna be lame)

after a few weeks of running non-stop, i took today off for some rest (on the advice of a friend). while to some my loafing may seem counterproductive, i see it as an opportunity to recharge my batteries for the sure to be grueling weeks ahead. so in my totally non-productive day here's what went down:

- slept on the couch until 11am. remained there for 2 hours watching tv and surfing the internets.

- went to District Hardware to get some brackets to mount my white board to the wall.

- a trip to Trader Joe's for chicken, some curry sauce, various deli meats, and assorted breads.

- a trip to the Watergate liquor store, where a pleasant surprise awaited me. Sierra Nevada has just released a hefeweizen that is, for a domestically produced beer, actually very, very good. it's rich yeast gives it a very smooth texture; not only that, but the yeast gives the beer a delicious after taste with a hint of cloves ... me thinks me wants one right now... mmm. I paid $10 for the six pack which, of course, nets out to $1.66 per bottle ... way less than the German stuff that's priced at around 3 and 1/2 bucks each... gotta love value shopping.

- came home and fell asleep on the couch for 3 hours...woke up and did a little reading.

ahhhhh. what a great day. currently listening to a speech the W gave at SMU on thursday. soon, time for bed, a bike ride in the morning (see the pic of my sweet, sweet aurora) and then a full day of outlining and working on websites.

i'm ready

i had dinner and German beers with my boss and mentor from back home tonight.

i got some really good advice.

i know what i need to do.

shart gargler

i can't sleep. i'm exhausted every night, but i can't sleep. i probably can't sleep because i know that i could be doing some work, but after a full day of work my brain is mush. i can't form a coherent thought, so when i try to do work at this hour i get frustrated and pissed, so i have to take a break. then i try to watch tv or a movie, but all i can think about every scene is "that's a tort, that's a violation of due process, that's a valid defense"... i'm having a really hard time "turning it off."

i was warned...(or as they say in the law i was "put on notice.").

in the words of the famous poet, parker "i'm gonna get a tattoo on my neck that says 'fuck you mom and dad'"

sometimes i want to stop and think, but most times i have to run away

wow. memo 2 is coming to a close and as i reflect back on the weeks of research and the past 72 hours (most of which were spent in this chair) i can't help but think of how much i learned about myself from this assignment. it's even sweeter to think that every other 1L was in the same hell i was in. tomorrow's going to be a great day. i'll have my second draft of this memo completed in the next 2 and 1/2 hours or so, then i'll get some sleep, wake up and work on my edits, turn in the third and final draft and go blow off some steam...pass or fail this was an experience to remember.

as i finish up i'm listening to some good stuff. i love how that certain song can bring back the most powerful memories...

my hate keeps me warm

UPDATED 07 NOVEMBER 2009; 00:40.
fuck you i hate law school, fuck you i hate 28 U.S.C. § 1404(a), i hate LRW, i hate TREAT, i hate sitting in the same place for 15 hours, i hate the "convenience of parties", i hate the "convenience of the witnesses" i hate the "interest of justice", fuck you i don't mind "where it might have been brought."

there. i feel no better now that i've gotten a little better now, getting that off my chest :)

bleep blorp bloop

sometimes i wish i was a robot. a robot with dinosaur teeth and rockets that shoot out of my eyes...that would be sweeeeet.

halloween in DC was fun. i went to a party that was kind of, let's say, a sausage fest, so i rounded up some folks and talked them into walking over to georgetown where metro police blocks off some of the streets and you can do a bar crawl. we never quite made it. a buddy and i had to go out to my car to get my jacket and put up a bottle of booze that we brought with us. when we did, the rest of the group thought we left and so they started heading off to georgetown without us. me and my friend went back to the party grabbed a couple of beers for the road and started off walking...in circles...turns out he thought i was leading the way and i thought he was leading the way, so there you have it...and it was actually fun. sometimes the fun happens between the parties and the bars.

now, lest you get the wrong idea about life out here, a clarification: the 18-20 hour days sort of blend together. as i write this post it's monday evening. in about half an hour i'm going to sit down to read and probably won't finish until at least 3 am. this is on top of the 3 classes i had today (after writing a memo until 4am), the next time i open my eyes it's going to be friday and i'll have repeated the above described reading/writing/classes 5 times. it's not all going out and having fun. having fun is a very, very, small part of life here. life here is all about the task at hand. but i'm not gonna be the asshole that writes about the "care of duty" discussion we had in torts today - so i write about the fun times ... it's sort of like a sanity check for me i guess :P

hooked on a feeling

there's no greater feeling in the world than a surge of the stuff that makes your hands shake, your voice quiver and your heart beat about 10 times faster.

adrenaline is what you get when you raise your hand in lawschool - when the prof calls on you you get tunnel vision and words kind of just roll off the tongue and you really don't know what you're saying until after the sound has left your mouth. it's great. the thing is this: your're in a room with a ton of very smart people and you don't want to be wrong. if you raise your hand, you better be on point... a fella could get used to this.

another adrenaline high: the bike trails in washington dc = awesome (especially the downhill runs).

we had the greatest expectations

whoa. last night i went to one of the best shows that i've ever been to in my life. one of my favorite bands, The Loved Ones, was opening a show for The Gaslight Anthem at the 9:30 Club here in D.C. i initially went to the show to see The Loved Ones and was debating about sticking around to see Gaslight ... i'm so glad i did. The Gaslight Anthem blew the roof off of the fucking joint - it was... well, let's just say i can't remember the last time i pumped my fist in the air and screamed the lyrics to EVERY song that a band played.

hands off, frenchy.

a couple of weeks ago i went out to bar review with a few 1Ls. we went to a couple of different places - no big deal. what's interesting is what happened to the fella that i never saw that night. a friend of ours was supposed to meet us at bar review, but we wound up going to a different bar. again, no big deal, he was drinking with another group of folks at the dorm and said he'd meet up with us later. we stayed out until closing but we never heard from him.

i saw him after class the next day and i'm like "dude?". he says to me "i got robbed last night." turns out that the guy got hammered at the dorm and headed off to bar review. he had some more drinks a bar review and then decided to leave ... alone. remember that the last time something bad happened to one of my friends it was because he also left his group - this is the moral of the story: never leave your group to go walking alone in DC, drunk, at night.

he was stumbling home and stopped to talk to some guys sitting on some steps on the corner of 19th and M; keep in mind that he did not know these guys. he talked to them for about an until one of the guys left. then he stuck around and talked to the other guy for a half-hour or so. when he got up to leave and shake the guy's hand the guy grabbed my friend's hand stuck his other hand in my friend's pocket, took his money and started running. my friend chased him screaming "dude, what the fuck? I sat there and talked to you for like an hour .. i thought we were cool." to which the thief responded "wtf? you just wasted over an hour of my time...i didn't want to talk to your ass anyway." the guy got away and my friend made it home safe.

last night my same friend got ripped off again - this time by a drunk french girl. we were leaving a bar in Adams Morgan last night after last call. we went into Jumbo Slice for some pizza before heading home. Jumbo Slice sells the BIGGEST slice of pizza you'll ever see and they have no tables, so you walk up to the counter order your food and eat it on the sidewalk. well we were on the sidewalk, pizza in hand, and this drunk french couple, probably exchange students, walk by. the girl sees our pizza and reaches over and grabs my friend's slice and rips it in 2. she drunkenly devoured "her" half in like 1 bite leaving my friend standing there laughing his ass off thinking "wtf?". that's when i had to open my mouth "this is why we don't like the french." to which pierre (not sure if that was his name, but whatever) responded "what do you mean you do not like ze french?". "americans don't like the french, man" i said. "why not?" he inquired. "we just don't" i replied. i could tell frenchy was pretty pissed at this point so i decided to throw him a bone: "sarkozy is ok, i guess". "sarkozy is the fucking man" he said. i could tell that i diffused the situation so we went to another friend's apartment and smoked cigars and drank on the roof until everyone got tired and we all went home.